Will

He Thought Sending the Guard Was Such A Good Idea

Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
He had six thousand men;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.

And, when they were up they were up;
And when they were down they were down.
But when they were only halfway up,
They were neither up nor down.

How Nice If We Could All Live Together, Despite Harsh Weather

Three young rats with black felt hats,
Three young ducks with white straw flats,
Three young dogs with curling tails,
Three young cats with demi-veils,
Went out to walk with two young pigs
In satin vests and sorrel wigs,
But suddenly it chanced to rain
And so they all went home again.

Xenophobia and Righteous Anger

Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief;
Taffy came to my house
And stole a piece of beef.

I went to Taffy's house,
Taffy was not home;
Taffy came to my house
And stole a mutton bone.

I went to Taffy's house,
Taffy was not in;
Taffy came to my house
And stole a silver pin.

I went to Taffy's house,
Taffy was in bed;
I took up a poker
And threw it at his head.

The Varieties of Climatic Experience

Climatic porridge hot!
Climatic porridge cold!
Climatic porridge in the pot
Nine days old.

Some like it hot,
Some like it cold,
Some like it in the pot
Nine days old!