"The cup was emptied and would never be filled again. Was that a matter for regret? No, I did not regret the past. My regret was for the present day, for all the countless hours and days I lost in mere passivity and that brought me nothing, not even the shocks of awakening. But, thank God, there were exceptions."
-Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
I wonder if I have quoted this here before. I'm approaching the home stretch of high school. AP exams this week and early next. I need to get through those and my calculus final and then I'll be done. There are about 30 days of class left.
I recently, and hopefully* temporarily, lost a friend. In the metaphoric sense.
I somewhat less recently, and hopefully* far less temporarily, gained a lover. In the metaphoric sense, at least if you, reading this, are a member of my immediate family.
My school is beautiful, all gothic towers and clever-but-spacey deans and cute girls from back in New York and art lectures that are actually interesting and clubs I want to join. I'm fucking thrilled, although I'm afraid of leaving certain things (and people) behind.
I tried to dye my hair blue, failed, wound up with a weird mix of blonde and brown and grey and green and blueish. The upcoming plan is black and cherry red.
*I realize that I, like most everybody, use the word hopefully wrong, or at least not how it was originally intended to be used. It means "in a hopeful way", not "it is to be hoped". But it sounds like what I want it to mean, and I'm pretty sure some bitch brought this up in one of the Babysitter's Club books I read in grade school.
Posted by samantha at May 1, 2005 09:57 PMKind of like this which is sort of like that, here, but not over there. That's what it is.
I am going to wink now.
Posted by: w is jesus at May 2, 2005 07:38 PMRead my profile of when the pope meets Hesse using a lightspeed bike and some creative imagination.
Posted by: Brauer at May 17, 2005 06:45 AM