Egress/Regress

"panties," and a bus.

There are some kids sitting in the back of the bus, playing truth or dare. This marks the first time in a long time, possibly ever, that I've heard a teenage girl speak the word "panties" in casual conversation. ("Who says that?") But I feel pretty safe assuming this isn't, to her, casual conversation. You use words like that to get attention. ("I'm wearing a black bra." "I'm wearing a white one!") (I was wearing black. Am wearing. I had to stop and think, resist the urge to check.)

Yeah, you use words like "panties" to get attention, because you don't know how else to. I mean, that isn't true; you talk too loud in movie theaters. You talk too loud at rock shows about how much "I love this song!", only to remember in an hour that the Cars didn't even do that song, like you said (too loudly) that they did. It was Devo. You even have the album. On vinyl.

So there are other ways to get attention, but, like this one, you feel stupid afterwards. I try not to question my motives too much, which is to say I do it all the time. I try not to mix up my pronouns, but that's just a lie. But you knew that, right? I mean, it's pretty obvious. Whatever.

Recently, some numbers changed. Four to five, and nothingness went up to one, and then two. It was quite lovely.

I finished reading the Sandman comics last night. I miss them already.

p.s.: it's between NYU, Vanderbilt, and the University of Chicago. I have until the end of the month to decide. Advice is welcome.