Egress/Regress

17jan05

And worse I may be yet: the worst is not
So long as we can say 'This is the worst.'

turmoil! we think in circles full of love and poison-
and my lips are turning inward rosy without supporting cast
a splint, a crutch of affectionate remorse,
my eulogies are often overwrought and derelict and false.

a different color hair on a different color pillow-
the same laugh at the same scene,
the same pain in the same field, or mockery
for all the same faults.

the replacements don't always make me smile,
even draped across a punk rock shoulder.

is this an apology?
they always are.
I always am.

"fuck you" bubbles towards my thoughts, malignant-
but I do what I can to reject it,
do what I can to become a cat toy
I'll just be a piece of string to the twitching universe.

I miss so many people that I've rarely seen.
I miss someone I rarely see. god.
no, not him, just some empty declaration of an inner conflict.

I should stop, but the words keep coming, pointless and post-coital. too late.

I love everyone.

Posted by samantha at January 17, 2005 01:21 PM