I keep getting this overwhelming urge to stab myself in the face.
I don't know what I want to do more-
stand alone in a great mass of people or a wide open space, and scream as loud as I can until I can't breathe,
or just stay quiet, watching movies from a couch with my arms around a friend, lips resting against sweatshirt shoulders, looking up and grinning at all the good parts.
I ran out of tissues, reading poems last night. I think then I finally ran out of hope.
I'm crying like I did at a funeral- and yesterday I heard that song for the first time in a long one. There will be an answer, Let it be. A flood of appropriate memory made me dizzy.
now what do I have? a bitter laugh for future years.
the angel laughs too, unheeding.