I am reaching the local minimum.
in this interval everything has come crashing down.
there's some strange comfort in the idea of hitting rock bottom. there's no place to go but up, right?
fuck, I'm breaking the promise I had you make. a hypocrite in all available senses.
my left eyebrow is slowly growing back. i'm trying to resist the urge to pull it all out again, sigh by sigh.
to a friend, I'm sorry.
to a lover, I'm sorry too.
to myself, I have nothing to say, except I hope you get through this.
there is so much to be burned away.
this is can not be a transformation, this is destruction, this is recreation.
I'm fucking lonely I say, and I thought I heard the same complaint from your lips. I did, but it wasn't meant for my stupid eyes. I crumble.
tick, tock, tick, tock
time feeds on my heart, grows fat and lazy and I no longer feel it.
I want to be numb, I want it all to go quiet. that's a fucking lie.
I can withstand Dylan's stream without drowning.
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. this heart, condemned. not to hellfire, to wrecking ball. my new old soul is scaffolding and front porches, the kinds that wrap around in New Orleans.
you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
or if you do- I'm too selfish for my own good.